From “The irredeemable Chris Rose”by Michael Patrick Welch published in 2015 in the Columbia Journalism Review:
While shaking off his writer’s rust with Rouse’s, Rose has also begun studying for the French Quarter tour guide exam. “I have a passion for public speaking,” he says as we wander said Quarter, past a band of young street musicians struggling to sound and look like old street musicians. “I see people paying $20 apiece for some guy to spend two-and-a-half hours telling stories while he’s drinking a beer—that would take me three restaurant shifts of eight hours apiece to make that much money. Plus, these guys are making up ghost stories, when there are so many true stories in this town.”
His name, he hopes, will be part of the draw. “If I was nobody, there is no way I could pull it off,” Rose admits, lighting a cigarette on the corner of Burgundy and St. Louis. He looks awkward smoking—like’s he’s old enough to know better. “I am counting on the fact that I can go to the concierges and have instant credibility. And what I love is there’s also a lot of writing involved: I’m gonna publish a book with each tour, so you can also just buy the book and take the tour yourself.”
As Rose explains his new plan to me, a man with Louisiana plates rolls down his truck’s window to interrupt us: “You still writing? You in any newspapers?” he asks Rose. “You were in the Gambit last I saw you.”
Recent Facebook post from Chris Rose · New Orleans
I am pleased to announce that I am now a legally licensed tour guide for the City of New Orleans. With that in mind – and given the season — I want to invite any Jazz Fest visitors – and locals, of course – to consider a fun and easy going romp through French Quarter history and lore.
At this point, I am offering a Rock and Roll themed French Quarter walking tour, featuring tales of madness and extravagance involving Led Zeppelin, the New York Dolls, The Animals, The Kinks, LeAnn Rimes, the Grateful Dead, Jimmy Buffet, Jerry Jeff Walker, Lenny Kravitz, Emmylou Harris, the GoGos, REM, Fats Domino and many, many more.
I also have a general catch-all omnibus French Quarter tour that covers history, architecture, literature, true crime, politics, the movies, celebrities and pop culture. (In the near future, I will be offering extensive tours dedicated solely to each of these topics as well.)
* Please note: I do not offer ghost or vampire or other fictional tours. No offense to my friends in their chimney sweep hats and capes, but the truth is so much more interesting than what you could make up in this town.
If you are interested in such an adventure, I am available any time, day or night, for individual or group bookings. The tours are confined to the French Quarter and take anywhere from 2 to 3 hours, depending on how slow we walk and how many bars we stop at. The cost is $25.
After decades of writing stories about New Orleans, its characters, history and quirks, I have decided to speak them directly. I would be honored to host and entertain you and any friends and family who might be interested in a genuinely offbeat and original look at this city.
For private or group bookings – or further information – please contact me at email@example.com or call me directly at 504.352.2535
Lastly, please, folks: Feel free to forward this message on down the line to friends and family. This is not a lark for me but the start of a new business enterprise and career and one more way for me to do what I love most and do best: Sing the sweet, sweet praises of this crazy, beat down, sexy, beautiful, misfit city I call home. New Orleans.